Do Your Vegetables Make You Laugh?

I’m on a mini-mission to increase vegetables in my diet. It only makes sense that in order to have a healthy mind, you need to feed your body healthy foods. The trouble for me is that I’m not a huge fan of veggies because they have always tasted incredibly bitter to me.

I’ve long suspected that I am a supertaster. There is a test you can take to confirm whether you are a supertaster or not, but I fit the description to a T so why bother? It’s not like I’m going to add “supertaster” to my resume anytime soon.

An onion can make you cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. Will Rogers

If you read my post on making kefir, then you know that I’ve been culturing food for a few years now.

Kefir has been my “go to” super-healthy food because it’s quick and easy and I can sweeten it with Stevia and/or fruit.

Living The Cultured Life

I have made cultured veggies in the past and even have a recipe in Donna Schwenk’s book, Cultured Food For Life, but honestly I’m too lazy to even make my own recipe. Taking out the food processor to finely chop everything and then cleaning it all afterward is a huge hassle for this kitchenphobe.

Please, Just Make It Easy For Me

Tomato BruschettaFeeling extra lazy one day, I texted Donna for her easiest cultured veggie and she replied with her Tomato Bruschetta recipe. This looked simple enough so I got the ingredients and whipped up a quick jar. I always have to change things, so I added some cayenne pepper flakes to spice things up. I’m here to tell you, I almost ate that whole jar in one sitting. It was that good! (You have GOT to try it!)

On A Roll

This inspired me to try culturing other veggies. I think I have some disorder where I refuse to read any recipes. Instead, I just picked out a couple of vegetables in the market that looked super easy to chop. My veggies of choice were broccoli and asparagus. I chose these two because they are very bitter to me when eaten raw, so I thought culturing them might make them more palatable.

I simply got the culture starter ready in purified water per instructions, cut up all my veggies, added a little sea salt, garlic, onion flakes, cayenne peppers and various other spices that looked good to me at the time. I had a few blueberries left in my freezer, so I added those as well. Seriously, I don’t think you can make too many mistakes when culturing food. It’s pretty forgiving.

After I packed everything in the jar, I topped it off with more purified water, put a lid on it and waited a couple of days until it was bubbly. Jar burping was necessary each day which was alarmingly aromatic, but the veggies taste better than they smell—I promise.

(If you want to learn from the expert, Donna has instructions and recipes on her website.)

broccoli asparagus


My broccoli and asparagus experiment seems to have paid off. The veggies are zesty and tangy and don’t seem as bitter to me. Are they as good as the Tomato Bruschetta? Um, NO. Nothing is as good as that cultured food crack! (Seriously. I’m making more right after I finish this post.)

However, the veggies combined with a little cheese and tasty crackers are pretty darn good. The cultured veggies can easily be mixed into a salad or served as a side dish. And as an added bonus, the probiotics in these cultured vegetables boost the immune system and increase good bacteria in the gut.

If You Want Laughs, Go To The Comedy Club

My cultured vegetables may never make me laugh, but it does make me happy knowing there are ways to incorporate healthy veggie goodness into my diet which will help my body feel better. Science is showing that nutrient dense foods can boost brain power and help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

All I know is that when my body feels good it’s a lot easier to feel good about myself and everyone else around me. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll start eating my vegetables after all.