Blaming others keeps you stuck
Do you think other people are holding you back?

Are you a person who can come up with a thousand reasons why you can’t do something because someone or something is standing in your way? If so you may have unwittingly cast yourself as the victim in the storyline of your own life.

The Part(s) You Are Playing

If you can imagine your life as a movie and you as the director, ask yourself what roles you have been casting yourself in. You may have automatically taken roles of being a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a worker, a friend etc., without thinking much about it. It’s what everybody does. But try looking at your current roles as an actor would.

Method actors always ask what their motivation is for the part they are playing. What they are really asking is the “reason why” so they can get deeper into the character and create more meaning. Taking a moment to understand the higher purpose for the role you are playing in your life can give you a completely different perspective in developing your own character. This can only lead to a stronger performance.

What Would The Hero Do?

Think about the roles you play in everyday life and write them down. Then honestly look at how many of those roles are really victim roles. How do you know if you are in victim mode? Some signs may be that you are complaining, feel like nobody “gets” you, nobody is there for you, that you aren’t good at anything, that everyone else is doing better than you—and the big one—that “it’s someone else’s fault”.

Once you’ve identified a role where you are playing the victim, imagine what it would be like if you recast yourself as a hero. How would that change things for you? What attitude would you have to take if you played your part as your favorite superhero like Superman or Wonder Woman?

Write It Down

Now that you’ve imagined yourself as the hero in your own story, write down three things your superhero self would do in that role and start practicing. Even if you only do one of the things it’s a start. At first you may still play your part as you always do, but if you have just one thought about how it could have been done differently as the hero, you are on your way to transformation.

Playing a new part takes practice. Your “adversaries” will always be around to help you refine your role and rehearse a new story. They are playing their parts too, so instead of blaming them for their role, thank them for helping you to redefine yours.